Growing

He told them another parable: "The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his field. Though it is the smallest of all your seeds, yet when it grows, it is the largest of garden plants and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and perch in its branches." Matthew 13:31-32 NIV

The Israelites were often referred to as a mighty tree. Oh how God used a small seed, Abraham, to grow into a large nation. What a beautiful image. And how wonderful God's plan for other nations to come and find rest, shelter and shade in it's beauty.

Today at church our pastor spoke about how just as the mustard seed is small, it will eventually grow into a tree and this is how it is with The Kingdom. Sometimes it feels as if the Kingdom will never come. Will we ever see restoration of all peoples? Will this world ever be made new from the toxic dump we have created? But we need to be patient. God is causing it to grow just as he planned. In his perfect timing.

I think this also relates to individual life. Lately I just want to be so many things. A parent who is nurturing, slow to anger, abounding in love. A wife who is gentle, giving and generous. A house that is creative, inviting, beautiful, and clean. A garden that is flourishing. Friendships that are dynamic. A life that thinks of my global community before my own desires. Being financially savvy and prepared. I want my closets clean and sorted, both figuratively and literally. I want every moment to count. I want to capture every feeling and memory with my girls. Basically I want it all! Because this is just the tip of the ice berg when it comes to my dreams, desires for life.

My husband said to me the other day that I was a perfectionist. I laughed at him. I have been running from 'perfectionist' labeling my whole life. Which is just what a perfectionist would do right? Feeling they couldn't live up to that label. I admit it, I am a perfectionist.

Sigh.

So now, to just wait, for God to cultivate the seeds in my life. One day I'll be that mature tree. For now, I am growing.

My friend had this quote as her FB status, something to ponder: "Remember that fear always lurks behind perfectionism. Confronting your fears and allowing yourself the right to be human can, paradoxically, make you a far happier and more productive person." ~~ David M. Burns