Spirit Garden

My mind was spinning. I needed grounding. Then i stumbled upon a therapuetic practise. Something that people have done since the beginning of time. I started to work the land. I had not planned to stop and get down on my knees in the dirt. On my little stroll to 'calm down' the garden beckoned me. As i pulled the weeds I thought of how quick and easy it was for them to grow and spread and try to inhibit my whole garden. I wonder what weeds are quickly growing in my life which need eradication. Anger. Impatience. Fear. Untrust. Busy-ness.

Since i had not planned to stop here, I wasn't prepared, my gloves were still hung in the garage...now my hands were covered in dirt, not to mention my toes and sandals which I had worn to town this morning. It felt nice to work the land. To help save my garden. To make room for the fruitful plants to flourish so that one day we might enjoy it's nouishment. What fruits am I growing in my life? Rather what fruits are the spirit tending to in my spirit garden? 22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Galatians 5

Or here's The Message translation, one of my favourites: 22-23But what happens when we live God's way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely.

Family Pictures

I absolutely love our family photos. Check the rest of them out here.

Journaling

Just visited Holy Experience. She has a lovely post on Journaling. I've never been faithful in my journals until I became a mom. I am awakened to the possibilities I've yet to explore. It's something that I want to teach my girls. I want them to have a place to capture all live's moments. A sacred space for them to commune with God.

Since I had my first daughter capturing each moment has been a yearning in my heart. I started journaling to my daughters during my pregnancy. I hope one day these journals will be treasures for them to behold. I hope they will be wonderful companions for them as they become mothers. For me, I am content knowing that the feelings I had can be revisited as I go back and read.

Here's a lovely quote from Ann's post:

“When it’s over, I want to say: all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was the bridegroom, taking world into my arms.

When its over, I don’t want to wonder
If I have made of my life something particular, and real.
I don’t want to find myself sighing and frightened,
Or full of argument.

I don’t want to end up simply having visited this world.”
By Mary Oliver

Growing

He told them another parable: "The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his field. Though it is the smallest of all your seeds, yet when it grows, it is the largest of garden plants and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and perch in its branches." Matthew 13:31-32 NIV

The Israelites were often referred to as a mighty tree. Oh how God used a small seed, Abraham, to grow into a large nation. What a beautiful image. And how wonderful God's plan for other nations to come and find rest, shelter and shade in it's beauty.

Today at church our pastor spoke about how just as the mustard seed is small, it will eventually grow into a tree and this is how it is with The Kingdom. Sometimes it feels as if the Kingdom will never come. Will we ever see restoration of all peoples? Will this world ever be made new from the toxic dump we have created? But we need to be patient. God is causing it to grow just as he planned. In his perfect timing.

I think this also relates to individual life. Lately I just want to be so many things. A parent who is nurturing, slow to anger, abounding in love. A wife who is gentle, giving and generous. A house that is creative, inviting, beautiful, and clean. A garden that is flourishing. Friendships that are dynamic. A life that thinks of my global community before my own desires. Being financially savvy and prepared. I want my closets clean and sorted, both figuratively and literally. I want every moment to count. I want to capture every feeling and memory with my girls. Basically I want it all! Because this is just the tip of the ice berg when it comes to my dreams, desires for life.

My husband said to me the other day that I was a perfectionist. I laughed at him. I have been running from 'perfectionist' labeling my whole life. Which is just what a perfectionist would do right? Feeling they couldn't live up to that label. I admit it, I am a perfectionist.

Sigh.

So now, to just wait, for God to cultivate the seeds in my life. One day I'll be that mature tree. For now, I am growing.

My friend had this quote as her FB status, something to ponder: "Remember that fear always lurks behind perfectionism. Confronting your fears and allowing yourself the right to be human can, paradoxically, make you a far happier and more productive person." ~~ David M. Burns