A Moment Of Peace

A friend once told me not to disregard a gentle whisper in a moment of peace. Today I had such moment.

Lately I have been overwhelmed by the choices 'out there'. Shall I continue with school? Get a job? Pursue this or that... sign up for this... focus on that... In the busy-ness I can get wrapped up in grandiose ideas. Plans!

Yesterday I bumped into grace. A friend of mine happened to be at a local bookstore I frequent with my girls when we have nothing else to do. We got to talking and then moved from there onto lunch with our children. It was nice to chat with a MOM. Someone who gets my desire to focus on my children. Who sees their roll as MOM as a calling from God. I realized how I had gotten wrapped up in being busy, in doing, in wanting, in ambitions which don't necessarily coincide with my first calling as MOM.

Today I was sitting in the grass with my girls. We were laughing together. We were enjoying simply being together. As my girls smiled happily at me I felt peace. I felt grounded. I knew that I was to be in no other place in the world than right there in that moment. That's when the whisper came 'love them'. Gently I played with them, kissed them, enjoyed them. I did not want to leave that moment. Not for greater ambitions, busy plans, selfish desires. Somehow in that moment my desires melted, no plans lay before me, no anxiety deep down, no lists, no regrets, only love. The desire to love and care for my girls overshadowed all.

The simplicity! What Grace! What Joy!

Home Is Where I Shall Start...

Ok, if you have been on the Study in Brown, or Claire's site, this might make more sense to you. If not, bare with me. Recently I finished reading "Jesus For President" such a great book. But at the end I really felt paralized, how can I be living more inline with Jesus' plan for us Christians? I think this is a great question to ask oneself from time to time to keep perspective. So I prayed "where to start". Yesterday I cracked open a book that had a short but consise biography on Mother Teresa (I'll have to share some of her quotes, very insightful!). She chose to stay single and therefore use her life to love the unloved. I have kids, my first calling is to love themv (they are perfectly healthy and for the most part happy individuals). Somedays this is not an easy task! I also have extended family and elderly people in my midst who need some love. So HOME is where I shall start. In that I'm sure there will be opportunities to love other peoples! And I welcome that opportunity, I can definitely prioritize my spending, and choices about purchases to be made out of LOVE. I also really want to be GENEROUS with those around me, with my time, talents, and love. So here's where I can start...with eyes open to who God might also lay on my heart or in my path to extend His extravagant love!!!

Just read this from Holy Experience So beautiful and insightful. What a tangled web we live in. Sitting here on all this wealth while the rest of the world goes hungry. Yes I hear the call to give, because I NEED to give. But all around me people are wealthy in material possessions and poor in spirit. Running this rat race. Crying for a saviour. Sad. Depressed. Broken. Oh how we all need a little Africa. A little perspective. Freedom. Jesus.

Update: God gave me a great opportunity to love my family this week. It was hard. It hurt. But I am happy to respond with love (well mostly, I have some work to do foresure).

Crazy??

I am finally into the fourth section of 'Jesus For President' and I have such mixed feelings. I have been anticipating the application part of the book since the beginning. I loved sections 1 to 3...and was guessing some of the places he'd go in section 4, but not his far. Not this freeing! I didn't even know I was so 'in bondage' to the 'american way'. When you peel off the layers to that way of life, it's freeing not to live under those social expectations, or norms. But it's also freightening because some if it I still want. Is it ok to have part of it? Is there a balance? Lord show me what steps you want me to take.

I just stumbled upon this post at Study in Brown. WOW. My feelings exactly! How can I even dream to live as 'section 4' proposes without a community with similar ways. I know I couldn't do it alone. My Christian community, are they not the ones who are to walk this path with me? Would they think I was 'crazy'?

You Are a Good Mommy!

She was playing tenderly with her baby doll. Grace has been quite interested in playing 'mommy'. Whenever I have my baby girl, Joy, on my side, Grace will gather her dolly to her side. It's so sweet. The other day I said she was a "good mommy", she questioned "I a good mommy like you a good mommy?" "Yes" I responded. "You a good mommy, mommy!" she declared. What refreshing words. Especially when there are times you don't feel all that proficient at your 'job', a little affirmation is wonderful.

The other day Grace wanted some chocolate chips (quite the treat around here). I told her she could have some after finising up her supper she had refused to eat only an hour earlier. She agreed that she'd eat dinner. After a few bites she asked again for the chocolate chips. Yet again I asked her to eat more dinner and she agreed to a few more bites. Finally, I said yes to the chocolate chips, I asked her how many? She replied, "five please!" I agreed to the five if she would share one with her daddy which she happily did. Then she approached me with her four treats in hand and wanted to know if I'd like one. WOW! Oh how my heart rejoiced! For her to share such a treasure in her eyes was beyond expectation. It's an amazing feeling when your kids show their love. Hmmm I wonder if this is anything how God feels when we act in love. Believe me, it's the most flattering form of 'worship' and 'thanksgiving' for a parent to experience. How will I 'worship' and 'thank' my dear Jesus today?

Spirit Garden

My mind was spinning. I needed grounding. Then i stumbled upon a therapuetic practise. Something that people have done since the beginning of time. I started to work the land. I had not planned to stop and get down on my knees in the dirt. On my little stroll to 'calm down' the garden beckoned me. As i pulled the weeds I thought of how quick and easy it was for them to grow and spread and try to inhibit my whole garden. I wonder what weeds are quickly growing in my life which need eradication. Anger. Impatience. Fear. Untrust. Busy-ness.

Since i had not planned to stop here, I wasn't prepared, my gloves were still hung in the garage...now my hands were covered in dirt, not to mention my toes and sandals which I had worn to town this morning. It felt nice to work the land. To help save my garden. To make room for the fruitful plants to flourish so that one day we might enjoy it's nouishment. What fruits am I growing in my life? Rather what fruits are the spirit tending to in my spirit garden? 22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Galatians 5

Or here's The Message translation, one of my favourites: 22-23But what happens when we live God's way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely.

Family Pictures

I absolutely love our family photos. Check the rest of them out here.

Journaling

Just visited Holy Experience. She has a lovely post on Journaling. I've never been faithful in my journals until I became a mom. I am awakened to the possibilities I've yet to explore. It's something that I want to teach my girls. I want them to have a place to capture all live's moments. A sacred space for them to commune with God.

Since I had my first daughter capturing each moment has been a yearning in my heart. I started journaling to my daughters during my pregnancy. I hope one day these journals will be treasures for them to behold. I hope they will be wonderful companions for them as they become mothers. For me, I am content knowing that the feelings I had can be revisited as I go back and read.

Here's a lovely quote from Ann's post:

“When it’s over, I want to say: all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was the bridegroom, taking world into my arms.

When its over, I don’t want to wonder
If I have made of my life something particular, and real.
I don’t want to find myself sighing and frightened,
Or full of argument.

I don’t want to end up simply having visited this world.”
By Mary Oliver