Growing

He told them another parable: "The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his field. Though it is the smallest of all your seeds, yet when it grows, it is the largest of garden plants and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and perch in its branches." Matthew 13:31-32 NIV

The Israelites were often referred to as a mighty tree. Oh how God used a small seed, Abraham, to grow into a large nation. What a beautiful image. And how wonderful God's plan for other nations to come and find rest, shelter and shade in it's beauty.

Today at church our pastor spoke about how just as the mustard seed is small, it will eventually grow into a tree and this is how it is with The Kingdom. Sometimes it feels as if the Kingdom will never come. Will we ever see restoration of all peoples? Will this world ever be made new from the toxic dump we have created? But we need to be patient. God is causing it to grow just as he planned. In his perfect timing.

I think this also relates to individual life. Lately I just want to be so many things. A parent who is nurturing, slow to anger, abounding in love. A wife who is gentle, giving and generous. A house that is creative, inviting, beautiful, and clean. A garden that is flourishing. Friendships that are dynamic. A life that thinks of my global community before my own desires. Being financially savvy and prepared. I want my closets clean and sorted, both figuratively and literally. I want every moment to count. I want to capture every feeling and memory with my girls. Basically I want it all! Because this is just the tip of the ice berg when it comes to my dreams, desires for life.

My husband said to me the other day that I was a perfectionist. I laughed at him. I have been running from 'perfectionist' labeling my whole life. Which is just what a perfectionist would do right? Feeling they couldn't live up to that label. I admit it, I am a perfectionist.

Sigh.

So now, to just wait, for God to cultivate the seeds in my life. One day I'll be that mature tree. For now, I am growing.

My friend had this quote as her FB status, something to ponder: "Remember that fear always lurks behind perfectionism. Confronting your fears and allowing yourself the right to be human can, paradoxically, make you a far happier and more productive person." ~~ David M. Burns

Love Wins

It's a big world, we are hoping
For a big change, we are broken
In the fading light of a dying sun
We cry for redemption

There is hope, there is hope, there is hope
But everyone who's lost will be coming home
And everything that hurts will be whole again
And love will be the last thing standing

Bridge:
Can't stop, you can't stop the seasons
Don't stop, don't stop believing



Chorus:
Keep on dreaming of the day when it all will change
Believe in the end, love wins
If you're waiting for the time when your sun will shine
Oh, look above cause love wins

Verse 2:
If it hurts you, just breathe in
When it pains you, just believe in
The radiant light of the morning sun
We can find our redemption

Love is strong, love is strong, love is strong
It's been there holding you all along
Everything thrown away will be new again
And love will be the last thing standing



I have been really loving this song lately, it really resonates with my heart at the moment. I added the pics of Grace's little struggle with our deck. She managed to put her head between the boards, but then couldn't get out. Her facial expressions are so vivid. The fear was so real for her. Often I too feel like my head is stuck, it's a good reminder that in the end...love wins. God is present and will release me. Restore me.

My Grace is Sufficient For You

So if you've been following my little banter back and forth I'd like to direct you to this blog. The words that got to me: 'my grace is sufficient for you'.

Do I believe we should LOVE our neighbour and this world we live, YES!

Who's the one who taught me that, urged me in that direction? The Spirit.

Who's the one who'll give me strength and direction to continue in that path?

The Spirit.

When I feel hopeless, overwhelmed, or stuck these words speak to me: 'my grace is sufficient for you'. It'll be those same words that say 'rest' that will fill me with love to 'do' the work the spirit has directed me.

It all starts with LOVE and REST and GRACE....Jesus!

So now, to go and 'do' as the spirit leads, filled with grace, filled with love and compassion for my family, my community, this planet, and most of all Jesus. With the spirit we can move mountains. It'll take time and patience and lots of LOVE but God will weave it altogether in a beautiful life giving way.

Holy Experience

I'm not sure if anyone reading here has checked out the blog Holy Experience. WOW, it always speaks to my heart. Not in ways of 'doing' it's 'all grace' as Ann (the author) would say.

I particularly like the last few posts on thanklessness and on life being art and then on joy in all circumstances!

I am beginning to think that all my little 'convictions' are imprisoning me. Yes that includes my experiment on consumerism and my latest dilema PLASTICS!!! I want to focus more on love, grace, joy, JESUS! Thanks Ann for always sharing grace in your blog posts.Thanks also to a new friend who always redirects me to grace.

Day 3

Yesterday was bad. I ate out for lunch. But there's a good reason and lesson learned. We ran out of food in the house! Lesson learned, planning is key. It's harder to not 'consume' when you can't do the prep at home.

Today will be better...because I don' intend to leave the house. I don't know does that count?! :)

Day 1

Right now I am reading "Jesus for President" I came across this quote (which thanks to Claire I had read before) it is true for me:

Plenty of wealthy Christians are suffocating from the weight of the American dream, heavily burdened by the lifeless toil and consumption we embrace.

Often I feel this suffocation. I feel anxiety about purchasing various items for my home or body or children. I wonder if there will be enough money in the future for my family and to have the life we want...or I think I want. Thankfully this worldview is being changed all the time for me.

Day 1 was good since I stayed at home due to sick kids. But that did mean watching a little more tv and more computer time as there's only so much stimulation I can provide for 2 sick kids and one tired mommy. I tried a life giving list today. I really liked it. Usually I make lists of things that need to be accomplished during the day (particularly the important stuff as my mind is not all that reliable these days). However, yesterday I thought about the stuff on my list. These things aren't really that important to me. Yah I get that the bills need to be paid etc. But more importantly I want to love my kids and spend time with them. Honour Jesus. Honour my husband. Honour myself. So I did just that!

Here's my list for yesterday:
make a congratulatory cake for my husband with Grace,
make a congrats banner,
take a relaxing sauna.

YAY I completed my list by 2pm!!!

Today on my list:
take a walk outside,
have a nap!,
play playdough or alternate messy activity of Grace's choosing...and maybe some more reading from Jesus for President.

What's on your 'to do' list today? Does it reflect what is truly important?

Consumption

Lately I've had a few purchases to make. It was a tough decision for me. So tough it took up considerable time locating, comparing prices and then in the end I made returns and other purchaes and more returns. Anyhow, the sega reminded me about my previous thoughts on consumerism and consumption.

Ok, at first I thought I would stop all consumption for 1 week, but I am going to have to work my way up to that. This week I am going to try the following:
-no purchasing goods
-limit email/tv/dvd ...all electronic entertainment
-no eating out/coffee purchases (except for Friday as I have plans already!)
-no browsing in stores or on websites

I hope this will be fun. My plan is to choose alternate activities that are more life giving. To experience life and the loves around me and not allow "things" to take up my time, energy, thoughts, or resources. Join me if you like!